Smells Like Teen Parent
This podcast is for adolescents and the adults who annoy them. You want to have a good relationship with your teen and you also have to get them ready for the real world. Jenny Debevec, a nationally certified counselor and consultant with 20 years working with teens, helps you maintain your sense of humor, offering motivation, advice, and support as we walk this sometimes smelly road. You will hear fun discussions and let’s get real interviews with parents, kids, and experts about topics like college applications, sex and gender identity, social media, relationships, learning disabilities, parent self-care, puberty, and more! If you need a laugh, a little advice or just want to know you’re not alone, listen in.
Smells Like Teen Parent
Ep 17: Student Spotlight: Transforming Health Education for Young Women
Ever wondered why so many young women are misinformed about their own bodies? On this episode of "Smells Like Teen Parent," high school students Alexis Hom and Emma Slocum tackle the glaring gaps in women's health education with their junior capstone project. From sharing personal struggles to confronting the unreliable information circulating on social media, Alexis and Emma shed light on the urgent need for accurate education on puberty, menstruation, STDs, and healthy relationships. They also bust the myth of perfect body standards perpetuated by AI and social media, revealing the real-life consequences of these unrealistic images.
Together, we delve into the broader need for social-emotional learning and comprehensive sex education in schools, particularly for young women. Hear about the transformative power of a supportive environment where students can ask awkward questions without feeling ashamed, and the resistance faced from some parents who are uncomfortable with these essential topics. We also offer practical tips for creating safe spaces at home to foster open discussions about women's health. Join us as we envision a future where informed and empowered young women are the norm, not the exception.
Welcome to Smells Like Teen Parent a podcast for adolescents and the adults who annoy them. I'm your host, jenny DeBevick, a nationally certified counselor and academic consultant with 20 years of experience working with youth. This is a special spotlight episode where teens share openly about the challenges they're facing and what they're doing to make the world a little bit better.
Speaker 1:Today we are featuring Alexis Holm and Emma Slocum, high school students working on their junior capstone project. They're delving into social justice issues and women's health. You're going to hear from these ambitious young women as they grapple with the misleading and often harmful realities surrounding body image and sexuality. They will discuss their health education experiences, topics about hygiene, the gaps in sex education in schools and the effects of AI and social media on body image. Additionally, they'll share what they wish parents and adult caregivers would do to ensure that youth have the knowledge and confidence to be safe and informed about their health. For more on this topic, check out my earlier podcast episode, sex and Empowered Puberty, featuring medical experts from One Medical. All right, let's turn it over to Alexis and Emma. So thank you, alexis and Emma, for coming on here this morning. Tell me about this topic that you chose.
Speaker 2:So the topic that we are really like trying to research and learn more about, as well as find solutions to, is the lack of access to women's health education, especially for young women and teenagers from the ages of like 10 to 18. Through personal experiences and hearing about our friends' experiences, we know that it's a big issue that and teenage girls need to know about their anatomy and stuff to be able to be healthy and to be happy. So we're trying to figure out how we can learn more to help make this better.
Speaker 1:Why did you choose this topic, Alexis? What about? It is interesting?
Speaker 3:to you. I chose this topic because one it's personal to me. I didn't have much like female health awareness education growing up, that kind of like basic stuff. I'm really passionate about it because I think it's really important that other young girls or girls our age need to know about this topic, need to be more aware about it and maybe even, like parents, will find out about it and they'll be able to talk to the daughters about this without making it awkward or a weird topic, because it's all natural and I think even I think even boys need to know about this too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ok, there's a couple of questions I have like. Why? Where would you say the information is lacking? Emma, do you want to start that off?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I've noticed that in schools that are private or religious or even just public schools, there is a lack of like. They say that they bring in like sex education classes, but a lot of times they either don't or it's just like a one, like one hour session and that's in like sixth grade, and then they're like okay, you're good, like, you know everything. You need to know which good luck out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like go have fun in puberty you're gonna do great, which for some kids is fine, because some kids parents will send them to like a heart to heart class at stanford where they can learn more about their bodies. But a lot of kids parents find the topic like uncomfortable or think that it's not appropriate for their kids so they try to shield them from it almost. But it's it's almost appropriate for their kids so they try to shield them from it almost. But it's almost more detrimental to kind of shield, especially like your daughter, from most of those things because they're going to happen to her anyway and if she doesn't learn about it they're probably just going to be more confused and scared.
Speaker 1:What are some of the things that young women are exposed to that you are both facing? It's like part of this larger conversation of women having power right and having power over what's happening with their body, and part of that is knowledge around what's happening with their body.
Speaker 2:I think that like a big problem with the social media and like young, especially young girls, being on social media is I know everyone says this, but like social media is not real. The stuff that's posted on there is not real at all. It really affects girls' body image of themselves and especially like during puberty, when you're growing and maturing and your body is changing, it can make it seem like everyone else is so perfect. You just feel like you're totally on the outside. So I feel like social media can be super detrimental in that aspect. And then also with like the boys and AI image editing boys doing that to girls like is even more detrimental because that just negatively affects your mental health so badly.
Speaker 2:If they're distorting images and stuff, I mean that's horrible.
Speaker 3:Also, all these things are really misleading for a lot of girls we go to, like TikTok and Instagram about educated information about your body. It's just really misleading, I think. Also, another source of information that girls tend to go to is their friends, and I think that's also super misleading because they also don't know 100% true and boys are having this image of what women look like. They're kind of using AI to make their own women. That's not okay and that's also not ideal or realistic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is well, so, well said. What information do you think young women need to have to make healthy, safe choices for themselves?
Speaker 2:Young women should, basically going through puberty. They should understand and know what a period is, how that works, how to take care of themselves. They should especially I mean even at a young age women should be educated about STDs and having safe sex and having safe relationships, like, especially like how you should be treated in a relationship, even though kids seem like they're young to be learning that. I think it's never too early because you want to set your daughter up for success. If she ever runs into a situation like that and she's uneducated, it's just better for her to know what to do, know how to react. A woman should be educated from early on. Every body is different. Everyone's bodies are going to change. There's an image of perfect and like what you should be or what you should look like, and that's all totally fake. You are going to be how you're meant to be and like that's going to be fine.
Speaker 1:And you know it's weird. It's here we are. The three of us are different. I'm in several generations different from you and the standards of beauty are exactly the same for your age group and for my age group. There's no allowance for you know, after you have children, your body changes or you get older. It's like we're still supposed to maintain some sort of perfection.
Speaker 3:Exactly, and I think that it's also. I'm not really hit all the points, but I also think it's just even the basic things like shaving, exfoliating, how to like take care of your hair or what to put on your skin. Everyone's skin is different, but I think it's also those kinds of things that I would really love to know when I was little, because I didn't know how to shave, I didn't know what exfoliating was. I still don't really know what exfoliating is Like. Hair care is also something that I think girls should know about if they want to know about it, and that's like just kind of the hygiene perspective of women's health education.
Speaker 1:I love that, yeah, and I work with elementary school students, so I'm seeing like fifth grade. Fifth graders are sort of just at the beginning of that and they don't know how often they should. Wash their hair, or deodorant is just now a must, especially in the springtime.
Speaker 3:I still don't even know how many times a week I should wash my hair.
Speaker 1:Right, right, and it changes. So it sounds like it's more about having places where we can have these conversations together and having a place for that and sharing information and having trusted sources be able to provide information. And I'm curious you both go to an all-female school. What kinds of conversations are happening around? You mentioned how you should be treated and things like consensual relationships and sex ed. You know, I grew up in a religious tradition and the understanding was that you would not have sex until marriage or you basically like go to hell. So I'm wondering has that changed?
Speaker 2:a little bit. The unfortunate thing is, at our school we don't have any sort of sex ed or anything we don't have.
Speaker 2:I think they assume that, since you're already in high school, like there's nothing left to learn about, which is not true at all, especially because a lot of the kids in our school came from middle schools that didn't educate them at all. And when you're in high school, you're in like the prime time where you're going to be in your first relationships, you're going to be, you're growing up and like there's information that you need to know to stay safe. We have had a few like speakers come in and talk about like consensual relationships, social media and like the dangerous aspects of social media, but, honestly, like there's nothing permanent instilled in the school to teach women about that, which I think should change.
Speaker 3:I think that that was one of the more surprising aspects to me was that there was no sex ed, conversations on consensual relationships or safe sex and I think it's so interesting there was no changes from like my middle school we had one because it was on zoom. Because of quarantines, we had a unit on it, but I don't remember learning about periods on that. I was really shocked to see that. How that didn't change in high school for me.
Speaker 2:You were do you want to hear about our like middle school experiences?
Speaker 1:Definitely.
Speaker 2:We had the exact opposite experiences in middle school, which is really helpful for us collaborating and like working on this project, because we get to see the flaws and the good things of how we learned Basically, I went to a school of like a progressive private school in Palo Alto and it was probably like 300 girls. It was an all girls school. We had a class that was permanently built into our schedule for all three years and it happened every two days and it was called SEL social emotional learning. It was amazing. It was every class we'd start with like we'd sit in a circle and do a check-in how was your week, how was your day, how are you feeling? There was a question box where you could anonymously put anything in there and the teachers would answer it in front of like each class so that everyone knew and no question was too inappropriate or uncomfortable to ask. Everyone got answers for everything.
Speaker 2:I mean, in sixth grade we had a period party. One of the rooms, like they put paper on the walls that was red and we ate red velvet cupcakes and it was just such a good experience for me that I didn't feel like any of that was uncomfortable. Everything was made so normal. I don't understand why anyone could think that this is an uncomfortable subject. We just talk about it all the time. I just wish that everyone could have that experience and that especially our high school. I wish they could do something like that. I know that a big problem with putting programs like these into schools is that there's backlash from parents because parents are like I don't want my kid learning that in school because it's inappropriate.
Speaker 1:When you are both amazing advocates for your generation and the next generation of women to remove that shame and stigma around the natural functions of women's bodies. And, alexis, your experience was different from Emma's.
Speaker 3:We didn't have any sort of talk about our periods or anything like that, and I all remember was just learning about the anatomy of our bodies but not really going in depth about it. We weren't really taught about like the STDs, about sex. We're all like in the dark about it. I think that's why me and Amara are doing this to kind of give the awareness about, like the subject, that how important women's self-education is.
Speaker 1:And how schools can provide that safe space where we can give honest education, truthful education to women, versus you learning about it on TikTok or somebody's older sister or brother who's also learning it on TikTok. You mentioned how one of the reasons that they don't instill these programs is because of parent backlash. What do you think parents and caregivers are worried about?
Speaker 2:I feel like parents are probably worried that if their young teens are going to learn about stuff that's considered more mature, that they're going to be more likely to do that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1:Like if we don't talk about it, then they're not going to be interested. Yeah, yeah, it's not going to happen, yeah, if we don't talk about it.
Speaker 2:It's just not gonna happen. As nice as that would be, it's not true?
Speaker 1:and what's scary is I'm seeing at the elementary school level. You know, girls, younger and younger, are starting their periods and they have no knowledge of what's happening to their body and they are frightened it should be so simple that it's all just obviously something that you need to learn about, but it's just so much more complicated another reason why parents just don't want to talk about it is just because maybe they themselves just aren't comfortable talking about it.
Speaker 3:And I think that was kind of the case with, like, my parents. Honestly, I was a little bit like nervous to ask them about this stuff. I was just kind of scared of what their reactions would be. So I think that maybe parents can just make it just kind of like say hey, like you know, if you're ever going through this, I can talk to you about it. Just, if school is not an open space for it, then make the home a comfortable space.
Speaker 1:That was great because I was going to ask you both, like what advice would you give to parents and adult caregivers about creating that space within the home to have those conversations so you can ask questions? I'm thinking about how it can be actually dangerous when we don't give women information about their physical health, about their sexual health, about their mental health. I just worked with another high school student and she did a whole project on intimate partner violence and how pervasive it is, frequent, and I'm wondering how these things are tied. When we keep women in the dark about themselves, how that leads them to be vulnerable to violence and to being in dangerous relationships.
Speaker 3:If women don't know how their body works, men or boys are going to take that maybe to their advantage. Boys are going to take that maybe to their advantage. If women don't know how to protect their peace and how to, you know, protect mental health and their physical health, then if they're not going to do it, then it's just going to kind of get worse and somebody else is not going to do it for you, but they're just going to maybe use that to their advantage. I always say, like you need to love yourself first before you can love other people, and that also goes to knowing your own, loving your own body and what it does and how it works. Do that first before you let others start letting other people in.
Speaker 1:There's a lack of education, sexual education, it sounds like across genders. Do young teen men and women talk about these kinds of things openly together?
Speaker 2:Maybe if you're in a relationship, that could be something that's talked about a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, with me and my boyfriend. We've talked about this stuff before, we've set our boundaries and we've said what we know and what we don't know and we just kind of we kind of like learn about it together as we go there. We're not, definitely not. I'm not talking about this with my classmates. I don't talk about it with my guy friends either. I don't know if it's the same thing with emily or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's really not. It's not something that really ever comes up.
Speaker 1:I just can't really imagine talking to them about that sort of stuff maybe, maybe in the next generation, maybe you two are the ones who are going to start shifting that.
Speaker 3:I hope so. This shouldn't be an uncomfortable topic to talk about. This should just be kind of natural, and if schools can make this topic more comfortable to talk about, then students are going to be more comfortable to talk about it openly and not just in the classroom.
Speaker 2:A lot of, especially girls in middle school, takes away a lot of your self-confidence when there's something going on in your body and you feel like you're different than girls around you Because, say, you're in middle school and you get your period. How do you know if anyone else has gotten their period If no one's talking about it? What if you're totally alone and you're the only one that's gotten it, which is usually never true? But if no one else is talking about it, it can really feel that way and it can really feel that way and it can make you feel lonely and it has negative impacts on your self-image because you think that what you're going through is not normal and gross and weird, kind of like outcasted. Yeah, everyone goes through the same thing. Girls shouldn't have to feel bad about themselves because they just don't know and they're uneducated.
Speaker 1:I love this and I love that the two of you are initiating and advocating for more of these courageous conversations, but also destigmatizing things that are happening with the body.
Speaker 2:talking about healthy relationships and how women can take power for themselves Any other last thoughts Adding on to like what our next steps are going to be. We so where I told you I mentioned already help implement stuff at our school to help the young girls at our school. There aren't pads and tampons in the bathrooms. It, I mean it should just be.
Speaker 3:It shouldn't be like a luxury. That's also one of the steps that we want to take is an elementary school or a middle school and just doing like an activity where they draw what they think is going on in their bodies or draw like a self-portrait of themselves. That can just be a little bit more educational for them.
Speaker 1:What are your hopes and dreams for yourself after high school?
Speaker 3:Well, I want to go. Well, jenny knows, I want to go to med school, after college, and I want to be a doctor, I want to be a plastic surgeon, I want to be a vet when I grow up.
Speaker 2:Similarly medical, just more for animals. Probably a little bit too squeamish to ever be a real doctor. All right, thank you so much, emma and Alexis.
Speaker 1:Well, that's it for this student spotlight episode. My heartfelt thanks go out to Alexis and Emma, as well as Birdhouse Studios for making this possible. Join us in our next episode, where we delve into the realm of neurodiversity. We'll hear from adults on the spectrum who amaze me with their insights and experiences. We'll explore the diverse workings of the human brain, the identification of neurodivergence and the strengths and challenges faced by young people on the autism spectrum. To our listeners, your engagement, sharing, rating and downloading are truly appreciated. Stay safe, stay healthy and remember that sunscreen Until next time. This is Jenny DeBevick signing off from Smells Like Teen Parent. Thank you.
